The Big Bang Theory
Series 2
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The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 1: The Bad Fish Paradigm
Penny and Leonard return from the restaurant while Howard and Rajesh spy on them, using a webcam on the corridor connected to a laptop. They try to convince Leonard that the date wasn't working well: they think that when Penny said "let us slow down a bit", it meant that the "fish is bad". But they are obviously envious.
On the other hand, after Penny and Leonard's date, Penny feels uncomfortable having not completed community college. She is afraid that Leonard would become bored with her. She lied to Leonard about completing her own college and makes Sheldon keep her secret. This request to deceive Leonard is very hard for Sheldon (and his facial expressions) and results in the drastic decision on Sheldon's part to move out. However, after moving from Raj's and Howard's homes (in the course of one night), Sheldon is brought back home by Howard. Having unknowingly taken a dose of Valium, Sheldon tells Leonard about Penny's failure to complete community college. Leonard, in an attempt to help Penny, offers her some pamphlets regarding some local community colleges. She promptly slams the door in his face in annoyance. The episode closes as Leonard remarks "Okay this time I know where I went wrong." and he finds Wolowitz and Koothrapalli eavesdropped on the whole incident with the webcam.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 1: Quotes
Leonard: You could be Batman?
Sheldon: Yeah. I'm Batman See?
Leonard: What secret?
Sheldon: Mother Smokes in the car, Jesus is fine with it but don't tell Dad...SSHHH!...
Howard: How's the air matress?
Sheldon: It's ok, if you don't mind sleeping on a bouncy castle.
Leonard: What happened to him?
Howard: He wouldn't sleep so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handfull of my mother's Valium in it. TAG YOUR IT!
Sheldon: And you thought the opposite of stupid loser was a Community College Graduate?
Sheldon: I drank milk that tasted funny.
Wolowitz: Qu'est-ce que 'sup?
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 2: The Codpiece Topology
The guys return from a Renaissance fair and see Penny with a new guy, Eric (Travis Schuldt), prompting a jealous Leonard to pursue a relationship with fellow physicist Leslie Winkle. All the guys as well as Leslie humiliate Leonard for his apparent failure to keep Penny.
Leslie eventually agrees to date Leonard, repeatedly assuming the dominant role before conceding that he should "assume the male role". Leonard convinces Sheldon to leave the apartment, to give his roommate and Leslie some privacy. On the staircase, while playing Super Mario 64, Sheldon explains to Penny that he feels uncomfortable with Leonard dating his arch enemy, Leslie, who is a "sloppy, arrogant, sub-par scientist".
Sheldon returns to their apartment and formally approves the relationship between Leonard and Leslie, graciously overlooking that she actually believes loop quantum gravity instead of string theory. Leslie gets emotional and makes statements about Lorentz invariance and black hole entropy which Sheldon scoffs at. Leslie expects Leonard to back up her beliefs but finds that he shares Sheldon's instead. Leslie then asks how they should raise the children as if it were a decision to raise their children in one religion or another. After learning about this "deal breaker" which she believes is more serious than Leonard's food allergy and shortness, she breaks up with Leonard. After which Sheldon tells Leonard to look on the bright side Leonard then replies with "What's the bright side?" Sheldon states that it is only 9 more months to Comic-Con and the episode ends. (Near the start it is revealed that at Comic-Con, Raj made out with an attractive man dressed as a Orion slave girl.)
Season 2 Episode 2: Quotes
Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees.
Penny sighs and rolls her eyes.
Sheldon: Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.
Sheldon: Oh Mario ... if only I could control everyone the way I control you ... HOP! YOU LITTLE PLUMBER! HOP! HOP! HOP!
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 3:The Barbarian Sublimation
Sheldon becomes distracted from playing Age of Conan by Penny who has accidentally attempted to use her car keys to open her apartment door. Sheldon learns that Penny is frustrated by her failures in life specifically her not getting into any of the parts in plays she's tried out for, not having sex for six months, not receiving a raise at work and, on her way up the stairs, she swallowed a fly. Sheldon invites her into his apartment to wait until the locksmith arrives to open her door. Penny becomes curious about the game Sheldon is playing and quickly becomes addicted. They quickly try to help her regain her regular life back as they try to set her up with an online dating service which failed miserably. After falling deep into her addiction, she inadvertently accepts an online date consisting of questing and drinking ale at the local virtual tavern with Howard. She quickly realises what she's done and promptly stops playing the game as the episode ends.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 3: Quotes
Sheldon: I'm surprised you struck out with Penny, apparently she's a big 'ol five.
Wolowitz: It is I, Sir Howard of Wolowitz.
Sheldon: DANGER! DANGER!
Sheldon (to Wolowitz): You'd hit particulate soil on a colloidal suspension.
Sheldon: (elaborates after seeing Howard's confusion) Mud.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 4: The Griffin Equivalency
Raj is included in People magazine's '30 Under 30 to Watch' list, sparking jealousy from his friends, first from Wolowitz who receives no mention of his mechanical design that led to Raj's discovery, and Sheldon who doesn't understand why Raj's work is being recognized (at all). Leonard admonishes them and they attempt to be supportive of Raj, however his antics - including hiring an assistant and misleading the interviewers about his 'humble background' (his father is a gynecologist and drives a Bentley) - leads to a strain between them. Leonard, still having been supportive, loses his cool when Raj asks Penny to be his date for the party thrown by People and makes the belittling comment 'I can't believe it took you a year'. After the party, a very intoxicated Raj and annoyed Penny return to his apartment (The 'Raj Mahal') and receive a web-call from his parents, who criticize Raj for 'dating' a white girl despite Penny setting them straight that she isn't his girlfriend. The night ends when Raj exits to be sick from drinking too much at the party.
The following morning, Raj appears sober and hungover on Penny's doorstep and she makes him apologize to her without any notes or third-party interpretation. This leads to Raj's first ever direct words to Penny while not drunk or distracted - 'Sorry'. She gives him a hug, showing her forgiveness, at which point Leonard leaves his apartment and sees them hugging. When Penny leaves, Raj turns around and gives Leonard a gloating grin. Sheldon comes out and closes the episode by giving an over-forced smile he used throughout the episode.
This episode also includes a cameo from Charlie Sheen; at Penny's restaurant after the guys all leave, Raj says to the patron at the next table over, "Hey, buddy. I'm going to be in People magazine!", Mr. Sheen turns around and says "Yeah? Call me when you're on the cover."
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 4: Quotes
Sheldon: You know, this situation with Koothrappali brings to mind a story from my childhood.
Howard: Oh, goody, more tales from the Panhandle.
Sheldon: That's Northwest Texas. I'm from East Texas, the Gulf region. Home to many Vietnamese shrimpers.
Leonard: Do the shrimpers feature in your story?
Sheldon: No. Anyway, when I was eight, a Montgomery Ward delivery van ran over our family cat, Lucky.
Howard: Lucky?
Sheldon: Yes, Lucky.
Leonard: He's irony-impaired. Just move on.
Howard: Ok, dead cat named Lucky. Continue.
(Sheldon smiles in a grotesque way).
Howard: Oh...... crap that's terrifying.
Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
Sheldon: I often forget other people have limitations. It's so sad.
Howard: He can feel sadness?
Leonard: Not really. It's what you and I would call condescension.
Leonard: We're here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman!
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 5:The Euclid Alternative
Leonard is working nights on an experiment - the lasers he needs are only available on the graveyard timeslot - resulting in his inability to drive Sheldon to the university. As a result, Sheldon must find another way to get to school, which includes invoking a favor from Penny on her day off from the restaurant and a return trip from Wolowitz on his scooter and Raj being forced to pick Sheldon up after both eject him from their respective vehicles. The friends finally stage an intervention and tell Sheldon he must get his driver's license because he should be taking on the responsibility of driving himself to work (and so he will stop bothering them for rides).
After an eventful trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles, resulting in Sheldon circumventing the test procedure by annoying the DMV worker, the gang sets up a simulation for him in the living room. The ensuing practice shows the gang that both the simulation was a great idea as opposed to an actual trip in a car and why Sheldon never learned to drive in the first place - he's a horrible driver. Later, despite actually having a license, Sheldon decides to forgo using it and instead moves into his office for the duration of Leonard's night shifts. However, Leonard slyly neglects to inform him of the actual end date, resulting in Leonard living in peace in the apartment for an extra week as the episode folds.
Season 2 Episode 5: Quotes
Sheldon: Studies are shown that performing tasks such as eating, talking on a cell phone or drinking coffee while driving reduces ones reaction time by the same factors as ounce of alcohol.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 6: The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem
After an open house night with grad students, a particularly obsessive grad student named Ramona Nowitzki (Riki Lindhome) takes a shine to Sheldon and insinuates herself into his life and work as a girlfriend/assistant. However, Sheldon remains oblivious to her intentions, leaving the gang doubly confounded. She proves to be a positive and helpful influence on his life...until she begins to cut off his social life - no more Halo night, paintball, comic books or Battlestar Galactica. Ramona also goes so far as to presume that Penny has a crush on Sheldon when she sees them talking together in the hallway adjoining their apartments. Sheldon finally realizes that he's in a "relationship" with Ramona and seeks help from Leonard to get rid of her. Things come to a head when the gang comes into the apartment and see that Sheldon's solved his scientific problem that Ramona made him work on day and night until he solved, and when Ramona suggests they share credit for his discovery - calling it the 'Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem', which is what the title refers to - Sheldon's response is 'Get out!'. Things seems to go back to normal until Sheldon is approached by another young woman in the same way Ramona approached Sheldon first, and the episode folds as the cycle begins again. This episodes also features the first montage sequence in the series. The music is "Be My Yoko Ono" by The Barenaked Ladies.
Season 2 Episode 6: Quotes
Penny: Holy crap on a cracker!
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 7:The Panty Piñata Polarization
When Penny's cable gets cut, she starts coming over to the guys' apartment to watch America's Next Top Model. However, after Sheldon bans her from the apartment for a series of petty infractions (touching his food, sitting in his spot, and sending him "email humor"), Penny taunts him at the Cheesecake Factory. After Sheldon goes to the extreme of hanging her laundry from a telephone wire outside the apartment, Penny gets her revenge after Leonard gives her Sheldon's Kryptonite--his mother's phone number. Sheldon's mother calls him and forces him to apologize to Penny. Meanwhile, Howard and Raj are trying to find the location of the Next Top Model house. They use all of the technology at their disposal, and then some, and finally pinpoint it. They arrive at the house posing as cable guys and work their way in. The episode ends as we're left to wonder what happens next. Analeigh Tipton and Samantha Potter of Cycle 11 guest star.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 7: Quotes
Wolowitz (watching America's Next Top Model): Oh, look! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. With her head in the lap of... what a coincidence... is the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard: (Discussing Sheldon). Yeah, yeah, ah, see here's the thing, after you leave, I still have to live with him.
Sheldon: Is my hamburger medium-well?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Dill slices not sweet?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Individual relish packets?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Onion rings?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Extra-breading?
Leonard: I asked.
Sheldon: What did they say?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Did you protest?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Vociferously?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well, then what took you so long?
Raj: Hold on a second. Kreplach??
Howard: Yeah.
Raj: That isn't Klingon. It's yiddish for meat-filled dumpling!
Howard: Well, as it turns out it's also a Klingon word.
Leonard: Really? Define it.
Howard: Kreplach a hearty Klingon.....dumpling.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 8: The Lizard-Spock Expansion
A smitten Wolowitz thinks he's found his soul mate--until the woman, Dr. Stephanie Barnett, (Sara Rue) meets Leonard. Wolowitz invites Stephanie to drive the Mars rover, which winds up stuck in a ditch. Eventually, to hide evidence of what he has done, Wolowitz destroys all the security tapes and hard drives he can find relating to the Mars Rover mission. Leonard has a hard time deciding how to break the news to Howard that he is dating Stephanie. Sheldon, of course, is no help. Leonard decides to go to Howard's house to tell him himself. While there, Stephanie calls Howard and gives him the news. Howard tells Leonard "you are dead to me," which lasts until Stephanie invites Howard on a double-date. At the end of the episode, Wolowitz hears the news on TV that the Mars rover has found life on Mars in the bottom of the ditch, but as so much data has been mysteriously lost no one will ever know who made the amazing discovery. The episode closes with Wolowitz remarking "Son of a bitch!"
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 8: Quotes
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Leonard: How can 5 not be worse than 1?
Rajesh: Yeah, Star Trek 5 worse than 1.
Sheldon: Ok, first of all that is a comparison of quality not intensity. Secondly, Star Trek 1 is orders of magnatude worse than Star Trek 5.
Rajesh: Are you joking? Star Trek 5 is the standard against which all badness is messured!
Sheldon: Rock - Paper - Scissors - Lizard - Spock
Sheldon: I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion.
Sheldon: I'm sorry but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV Series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 9: The White Asparagus Triangulation
Sheldon is concerned that Stephanie is the only girl Leonard has dated that he "finds tolerable". He tries to force himself into conversations with "urban slang" to "help" Leonard in the relationship with Stephanie, as "history suggests" he will fail ("You're [Leonard is] Kirk, I'm [Sheldon is] Spock, Wolowitz is Scottie, Koothrapalli is the guy that always gets killed…and now we've got McCoy [Stephanie]"). Leonard attempts to get away from Sheldon by going to the movies with Stephanie, but Sheldon is able to follow them despite Leonard only leaving a note. ("If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you, you couldn't have done a better job." "Oh, clearly I could have.") After believing that Leonard is losing Stephanie, he runs to Penny for advice. Penny, however, is no help, so Sheldon runs to Wolowitz and Koothrapalli, but all they give is, in Sheldon's words, either "apocalyptic genocide" or "go easy on the cologne". Sheldon once again runs to Penny, but she refuses to talk. Afterwards, Sheldon attempts to prove Leonard's physical superiority to Stephanie by having him open a jar of white asparagus. However, Leonard shatters the jar by accident and has to get stitches. Wondering why Leonard can't supposedly keep a date, Sheldon remarks, "You seem like a perfectly pleasant person. I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you."
Following the trip to the hospital, Leonard finds his Facebook status has been changed to "In a relationship". Leonard also finds the cause: Sheldon hacked his account. Leonard forbids him to speak until Stephanie changes her Facebook status to "In a relationship" to match Leonard. Sheldon closes the episode by stating "If I am permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win."
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 9: Quotes
Sheldon: If I'm permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win!
Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Leonard? *knock knock knock* Leonard? *knock knock knock* Leonard?
Leonard: *opens door* What Sheldon! What Sheldon! What Sheldon!
Sheldon: Tell me what you see here. (Holding his laptop.)
Leonard: The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?
Sheldon: (asking Penny not to think of Leonard as a sexual partner) I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.
Penny: I could think about you ...
Sheldon: Whatever works.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 10: The Vartabedian Conundrum
Stephanie has moved in with Leonard and Sheldon, according to their roommate contract, though Leonard denies that she is living with them. She tries helping Sheldon with a ringing in his ear, but is unable to help him. After Sheldon walks Leonard through the changes that must be made now that Stephanie has officially moved in, Sheldon tries to have Stephanie check him more thoroughly, but Penny shows up and it turns out that neither Leonard nor Sheldon ever told Stephanie about Penny. The morning does not go well following that; Penny then proves to Leonard that Stephanie is living with him. Stephanie also buys Leonard new clothes to wear that Leonard ends up hating and eventually ruining. Realizing that his relationship with Stephanie is moving too fast for him, Leonard runs to Penny for advice. However, each time Leonard tries to follow Penny's advice to tell Stephanie how he feels, they instead end up having sex.
Meanwhile, Sheldon sneaks into the hospital to test himself multiple times, as apparently the ringing hasn't stopped. By the time Leonard gets back, Stephanie has diagnosed him with an inflamed larynx. The episode ends as Sheldon "asks" Penny with a computer for herbal tea & honey.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 10: Quotes
Leonard: Don't you think if a woman was living with me I'd be the first one to know about it?
Penny: Oh sweetie you'd be the last to know about it
Leonard: No absolutely not!
Sheldon: It's not a big deal.We have latex gloves.
Leonard: I don't care what the symptoms are, my girlfriend is not going to give you a prostate exam.
Stephanie: *Looking in Sheldon's ear with an otoscope* I don't see anything at all Sheldon.
Sheldon: Ahh, Well you're the doctor but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound.
Leonard: Me too.
Sheldon: Is it a high frequency whistle?
Leonard: No its more of a relentess narcassistic drone.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 11: The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis
Leonard meets his intellectual superior in award winning scientist David Underhill (Michael Trucco). Underhill is the total opposite of Leonard: handsome, charming, and cool. He's the whole package of brains and looks which initially doesn't sit well with Leonard. Although when Hill asks for Leonard's help in research he is undertaking, he happily jumps at the offer. Leonard's joy of working with Hill is hampered by jealousy when Underhill takes an interest in Penny and the feelings are reciprocated.
Sheldon, having always viewed the holidays as a pagan ritual that is rooted in obligations rather than holiday cheer, is taken for a loop when Penny brings him a Christmas gift. He now feels obliged to buy her a gift and enlists Wolowitz and Koothrappali to help him with this task which they reluctantly agree to. Sheldon believes he has come up with the most logical gift giving scenario until he opens Penny's gift; a napkin autographed by Leonard Nimoy.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 11: Quotes
Sheldon: You bought me a present? Why would you do such a thing? I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation of gift giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. Ah, it's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year. Oh, I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life...
Wolowitz: He doesn't do anything for me. If I were going to go that way, I'm more of a Zac Efron kind of guy.
Raj: Oh yeah, like you have a shot with Zac Efron.
Sheldon: All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 12: The Killer Robot Instability
When Penny's comment about Wolowitz's love life sends him into a depressed stupor, his friends lose their most important team-mate in an upcoming fighting robot competition. When Sheldon accepts a challenge for a one on one fight, pitting their robot, M.O.N.T.E. (Mobile Omnidirectional Neutralization and Termination Eradicator), against that of their co-worker, Barry Kripke (John Ross Bowie) Leonard tries to get Howard back on their team by sending Penny to apologize to him, reminding her that she owed him a favor for when he came home pantless in the Pilot episode. Penny goes to Howard's house to apologize, and ends up hearing his entire dating history. She tells Howard that if he didn't try so hard to get girls, then he would probably do much better in his relationships. After Penny's comforting words, Howard tries to kiss her, immediately followed by Penny punching him in the face. Meanwhile, M.O.N.T.E. loses to Kripke's superior robot, is destroyed beyond repair, and never enters the competition. After Sheldon organizes a vigil for M.O.N.T.E., Penny says it's "just a toy robot" and the episode folds as Sheldon sulks into his room.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 12: Quotes
Kripke: We awe all pathetic and cweepy, that's why we fight wobots.
Sheldon: Engineering %u2014 where the semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello Oompa-Loompas of science!
Rajesh: Die, Toaster, Die!
Sheldon: This is an auspicious moment, like Robert Oppenhiemer or Neil Armstrong, we need the appropriate words to mark this historic scientific event.
Rajesh: How about, die toaster, die!
Leonard: That'll do it!
Howard: Behold the Mobile Omni-Directional Neutralization and Termination Eraticator! Or...
Leonard, Sheldon,Howard, Rajesh: (Said reverently) Mon-te...
Sheldon: Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot?
Rajesh: As with my father I both love and fear it.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 13: The Friendship Algorithm
Socially awkward, Sheldon develops a scientific procedure for making friends. He needs to use an open science grid computer that is in Barry Kripke's office, but Leonard tells Sheldon that only Barry's friends can use it. After repeated rebuffs from Kripke, Sheldon finds a children's book in the bookstore (where he is hurried out by Leonard who finds him innocently chatting to a little girl in view of a security camera) about how to make friends. He designs a flowchart for accomplishing this task. He goes rock climbing with Kripke but faints halfway up when he sees how far he has come. Sheldon invites him over to his apartment, much to the disgust of everyone else. Raj is informed he is being replaced by Kripke as five friends would be too many to handle. Barry then tells Sheldon there is a sign-up sheet for the computer and Barry has no control over it. Sheldon then dismisses Barry as his friend and goes back to his other four friends: Leonard, Howard, Raj, and Penny.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 13: Quotes
Sheldon: Your robot is inferior and it will be defeated by ours because ours exceeds yours in both design and execution. Also, I'm given to understand that your mother is overweight.
Raj: Oh, snap.
Sheldon: Now of course if that is a result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony, I withdraw that comment.
Raj: What difference does it make, fat is fat!
Sheldon: There are boundaries!
Sheldon: That's awfully sticky.
Sheldon: What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?
Sheldon: A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.
Sheldon: (after Leonard whistles two notes) FIRST WARNING!
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 14:The Financial Permeability
Sheldon's "simple" solution to Penny's financial problem leads to a confrontation between Leonard and Penny's hulking ex-boyfriend, Kurt. Penny hasn't paid her rent, so Sheldon loans her some money. But then Penny starts to worry about not being about to pay Sheldon back soon enough, even though Sheldon never doubts Penny will pay him back and is not worried about it. Leonard tries to help Penny solve her problem and in the process learns that Kurt owes Penny $1800. Without telling Penny, Leonard goes to Kurt's place to collect the money, and Kurt writes "I owe Penny $1800" on Leonard's forehead. At the end of the episode, Penny pays Sheldon back with money that Kurt paid her, but much to Leonard's disappointment, Kurt evidently never told Penny about Leonard's visit.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 14: Quotes
Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die.
Howard: Maybe we should have your head notarized.
Kurt: Where's your back up?
Leonard: I don't need back up, I have right on my side...and I'm wearing cargo shorts under my pants.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 15: The Maternal Capacitance
A phone call from Leonard's mother, Dr. Beverly Hofstadter (Christine Baranski), leads to problems all around as childhood problems emerge from both Penny and Leonard. Penny bumps into Leonard's mom while doing laundry, and she reveals she is a psychiatrist and neuroscientist. Penny asks about Leonard's childhood, and his mother replies that he was 'in the phallic stage of psychosexual development, grabbing his penis and not letting go'. Penny tells Leonard's mother that she is an actress. By the time they reach Leonard's apartment, Penny is in tears after being psychoanalysed. Sheldon, on the other hand, instantly develops a comfortable relationship with the elder Dr. Hofstadter, resulting in the two discussing 'intimate' relationship points only to lead to a game of Rock Band.
In the cafeteria at work, Howard thoroughly enjoys asking Leonard's mom about her other two, more successful children. Leonard gets his revenge by telling her that Howard lives with his mom and about Raj's selective mutism. She decides they are in an ersatz homosexual relationship. Later, Leonard and Penny seek comfort in each other and discuss Leonard's mother first over white wine, then tequila. As the night progresses, Leonard tells Penny that he built a hugging machine when he was ten so he could get physical affection (his dad used to borrow it). Penny increases the stakes, resulting in a kiss. They eventually go to bed together, where Leonard tells her what his mother's reasoning for their impending sex would be: psychologically, he is having sex with his mom and she with her dad. Penny immediately throws Leonard out.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 15: Quotes
Mrs. Hofstadter: If you want to have intercourse with that girl, find out what kind of cologne her father wore.
Leonard: You shush! I'm happy. I want to talk about it!
Sheldon: Yes, it's definitely a colonoscopy.
Leonard: My mother's coming for a visit.
Howard: Hey, what do you know. You were right.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 16: The Cushion Saturation
A paintball game leads to a fight between Penny and Sheldon, and romance for Wolowitz and Leslie (Sara Gilbert). Penny accidentally shoots the paintball gun at Sheldon's couch cushion (his "spot", his "only point of consistency in an ever-changing world"), and she and Leonard have a hard time getting it cleaned. They try just turning it over but Sheldon still notices the difference and turns it over to find the green stain. Penny has the cushion dry-cleaned, but it takes a week and Sheldon goes through withdrawal during that time. After refusing to sit on the dry-cleaned cushion, Leonard reveals that the Szechuan Palace (the only place Sheldon has his cashew chicken from) closed 2 years ago. Sheldon collapses into the couch but still doesn't like it. Sheldon gets his revenge by shooting Penny at the beginning of the group's next paintball game. Penny then shoots Sheldon, he protests she's dead. Leonard agrees and shoots Sheldon himself, who promptly fires back. The others leave.
Meanwhile, Leslie and Howard start sleeping together at Howard's home, which lead to funny exchanges with Mrs. Wolowitz. Leslie is able to give Howard's work project some much-needed funds, although it turns out to be her way of controlling him. She asks him to come to her sister's wedding, he says no and she threatens to take away a trip to the CERN Large Hadron Collider project in Geneva. After getting over his initial reluctance to be in that sort of relationship, Howard accepts his "sex toy/arm candy" role.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 16: Quotes
>>Wolowitz and Leslie in bed post-coitus
Leslie: Boy, your heart's racing. I must've really gotten you going.
Wolowitz: Well, it's partly you, partly my transient idiopathic arrhythmia.
Leslie: Sexy.
>>Wolowitz checks his Caller ID
Wolowitz: Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight. (answers) Hey, baby...
Penny: His right hand is calling him?
>>Discussing Paintball Strategy
Raj: We need a plan. How about Operation Hammer of the Gods?
Leonard: I forget, which one is Hammer of the Gods?
Raj: We hide behind the Dumpsters in the parking lot and ambush people when they come to pee.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 17: The Terminator Decoupling
A train trip to San Francisco takes a major detour when Leonard, Sheldon, Wolowitz, and Raj discover that their favorite sci-fi actress in all the land (Summer Glau) is on board. But the fanboy frenzy quickly gives way to a heated mass debate when they realize one of them will have to approach her. They took the train because the vote was 3 to 1 for flying, with Sheldon the one vote for the train. While Wolowitz tries to think of a clever opening line for Summer, Raj starts talking to her after drinking what he later discovered was non-alcoholic beer. When he discovers this, of course, he quits talking. Wolowitz then takes over and creeps Summer out. Leonard eventually gets his chance, but Summer gets off the train before he can introduce himself.
In a subplot, Sheldon needs Penny to find his flash drive so she can email him a paper he wants to show Professor George Smoot (as himself) in San Francisco. Leonard asks Sheldon why he can't just e-mail the paper when he returns, and Sheldon replies that he "wants to see [Smoot's] face light up when he reads it." Sheldon initially responds with hostility to Leonard's suggestion that Penny should retrieve the flash drive, reminding Leonard that "no one goes into my room". Sheldon relents, however, and spends most of the episode giving Penny meticulous instructions as to how to enter his room (of course, stipulating that he is granting her access for this one time only). The instructions lead to a Japanese puzzle box containing the flash drive. Sheldon attempts to give Penny instructions as how to open the box, but she instead throws it on the floor and smashes it open. After all of this effort, Smoot wasn't impressed with Sheldon's paper, asking him "Dr. Cooper, are you on crack?"
When Sheldon initially calls Penny, she is talking to one of her friends about an upcoming play being the only opportunity she has to portray Anne Frank. This is the second time that a character played by Kaley Cuoco has the role of Frank in a play. The first was an episode of 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter in which she plays the role in a high school play.
Season 2 Episode 17: Quotes
Sheldon: She calls me moon-pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could eat me up!
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 18: The Work Song Nanocluster
Penny's home hair-accessories business becomes a complete nightmare when a caffeine-addled Sheldon takes over. Sheldon offers his advice of how Penny can make more money, and then Leonard, Howard, and Raj add their own ideas to mass-produce and sell the products, which are hair barrettes called Pennyblossoms. Leonard makes a website to market and sell the products, and puts in a one-day rush shipping option because "Amazon has one-day rush." Right away, they get an order for 1,000 Pennyblossoms from the "East Rutherford, New Jersey Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender Alliance." All 5 work all night to finish, only to see the same group had ordered 1,000 more, leading everyone to quit because they are tired. All except Sheldon, that is, who is now wide awake and hyper because he was given coffee by Penny. At the end of the episode, Sheldon in his Flash costume runs out to get more coffee.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 18: Quotes
Penny: Since when do we offer one day rush?
Leonard: Amazon offers one day rush.
Penny: Yeah, but they don't have to glue the books together!
Sheldon: Everything is better with Bluetooth.
Wolowitz: Oh, stop it with the fake third world crap. Your father is a gynecologist and you had a house full of servants.
Raj: We only had four servants, and two of them were children.
Sheldon: Penny, I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.
Penny: How are flower barrettes going to appeal to men?
Wolowitz: We add Bluetooth.
Sheldon: You are effectively paying yourself five dollars and nineteen cents a day.
Penny: A day?
Sheldon: There are children working in sneaker factories in Indonesia who out-earn you.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 19: The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition
Penny develops a rivalry with the new sexy female neighbor, Alicia (Valerie Azlynn), who lives directly above the guys and who threatens to become "The New Penny" in the building. Alicia has Leonard, Wolowitz, and Raj all "helping" her set up the apartment, from fixing her stereo to painting the walls. She also offers to repay them in Chinese food, for driving her to Universal studio to audition for a role in CSI; even though Penny already bought food for the guys in an effort to get them back to her. Penny confronts Alicia and tells her not to take advantage of the guys, in the laundry room after Alicia asks her how much money physicists make. They eventually get into a catfight in the lobby, resulting in a black eye for Penny. At the end of the episode, Alicia is with the director of CSI, and is heard "jumping on her bed".
During the episode, Sheldon also employed sarcasm at Penny when she enters his apartment without asking his permission.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 19: Quotes
Wolowitz: According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.
Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.
Sheldon: Listen to that! 'Stomp, stomp, stomp.' It's Wolowitz and his stacked heels that fool no one.
Sheldon: Do those sound like castanets to you?
Leonard: The box says 'kitchen'.
Sheldon: So? Do cocaine smugglers write 'cocaine' on the box?
Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.
The Big Bang Theory- Season 2, Episode 20: The Hofstadter Isotopee
While Stuart (Kevin Sussman), a fellow comic book-loving pal of the guys romances Penny, Leonard and Wolowitz venture out into the world of "Ladies' Night" at a local bar. Penny needed a comic book for her nephew's birthday, so she goes to the comic book store with the guys. Stuart is an employee there who is also an artist. Leonard feels he and Stuart are basically the same person, so it pains him to see Penny with Stuart. He asks Wolowitz to take him to a "bar with women." However, Raj is the only one who succeeds in getting a girl, which baffles Wolowitz, who had been failing all night. Meanwhile, Sheldon debates Stuart about the identity of The Batman following the Batman R.I.P. storyline. Sheldon "wins" the discussion when Stuart announces he is tired and wants to leave.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 20: Quotes
Stewart (comic book guy): Calling a tomato a vegetable is a little wrong, calling it a suspension bridge is very wrong.
Wolowitz: I am a horny engineer, I never joke about math or sex.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 21: The Vegas Renormalization
Leslie Winkle breaks up with Howard, and he becomes depressed. Leonard and Raj decide to take him on a trip to Las Vegas in order to cheer him up. While in Vegas, a prostitute named Mikaela (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe) begins talking to Raj. He and Leonard eventually decide to hire her to pose as a Jewish woman and seduce Howard. When Howard realizes what is going on, he thanks Leonard and Raj for setting up this "date."
Sheldon, who has declined to come on the trip to Vegas, is ready to spend the weekend alone. He returns home to find that he has forgotten his key inside his locked apartment. Since the building manager will not arrive until the next morning, and Penny says she left her emergency key in their apartment, he is forced to spend the night with her. He sleeps in Penny's bed because he can't fit on the couch. When Leonard returns at the end of the episode, Sheldon comes out of Penny's apartment, telling Leonard he had dinner with her and spent the night. He also tells him that he has a better understanding of the term "friends with benefits," (which was a question he had the entire episode) before entering the apartment, leaving a bewildered Leonard looking shocked.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 21: Quotes
Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Thanks for letting me stay here.
Penny: Oh, you're welcome sweetie.
Sheldon: Okay, I'm sleepy now get out.
Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: What?
Sheldon: I can't sleep.
Penny: Maybe that's because your hole is still open.
Raj: Disneyland can suck it. This is the real happiest place on Earth.
Sheldon: You know I'm in such a good mood I'm actually finding your tenuous grasp of the English language folksy and charming today.
Raj: What do you say Howard?
Howard: I say Vegas baby!
Raj: What are you gonna tell your mother?
Howard: Sea World baby!
Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'
Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.
Sheldon: You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.
Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?
The Big Bang Theory Season 2, Episode 22: The Classified Materials Turbulence
The episode starts at the comic book store, where Howard is celebrating the launch of his "space toilet" (a special latrine for the ISS) by buying all of his friends new comics. Stuart tells Leonard he is having a second date with Penny and asks for advice. Leonard deliberately avoids Stuart's request, because he doesn't want Stuart to go further with Penny. Stuart visits the apartment for "last-minute advice" just before going to see Penny, but Leonard tells him to "go slow" with Penny, hoping that she will dump him. Leonard regrets giving this advice, however, and goes to apologize to Stuart the next day. Stuart says that Leonard's advice was perfect. He managed to get Penny drunk and started making out with her, but she accidentally blurted out Leonard's name. Leonard begins celebrating as soon as he's out of Stuart's sight.
Howard, who was earlier celebrating the launch of his space toilet, discovers that he made a "teeny tiny error" that will cause the toilet to fail, dispensing its waste through the ISS (instead of out into space) after ten flushes. He asks Raj and Sheldon to help him construct a fix with materials that are readily available on the ISS. They eventually do throw together a fix. The episode ends with all of the ISS astronauts asking to go on a spacewalk, presumably because their waste has leaked out of the toilet, causing the inside of the station to stink.
The Big Bang Theory Season 2 Episode 22: The Classified Materials Turbulence Quotes
Sheldon: Yeah, I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition. Apparently there is no law of diminishing comedic returns with space poop.
Raj: (to Leonard) You completely screwed up your karma, dude.
Sheldon: You don't really believe in that superstition, do you?
Raj: It's not superstition; it's practically Newtonian. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Leonard pretends to be a friend and acts like a two-faced bitch. Therefore, he is reborn as a banana slug. It's actually a very elegant system.
Sheldon: For what it's worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry.
Leonard: Here's an approximation of the spare parts available on the Space Station. We gotta find a way, using nothing but this, to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.
Raj: You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?
Leonard: It must be hell inside your head.
Sheldon: At times.
Leonard: First of all, don't underestimate the value of discomfort.
Penny: Really?
Leonard: Yeah, Stuart thrives under pressure; that's why he works at a comic book store.
Howard: Hey, you want to make sure [Stuart] gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
Leonard: I'm listening.
Howard: Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.
Stuart: Leonard, could I talk to you about something?
Leonard: Yeah, sure, what's up?
Stuart: Remember I went out with your friend Penny a couple weeks ago?
Leonard: Yeah, vaguely.
Raj: Sure you remember! That was the night you went to the bar and made a fool out of yourself trying to pick up strange women.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2, Episode 23: The Monopolar Expedition
Sheldon wins a National Science Foundation grant to pay for a three-month expedition to the Magnetic North Pole. His plan is to detect the magnetic monopoles in a way that would prove the validity of string theory. After some hesitation, he decides to go, and wants his three friends to join him. Howard is the most reluctant, as it means three months with Sheldon. Raj believes three months with Sheldon will earn him a better reincarnation life per his Hindu beliefs stating that three months will Sheldon means he will become a "well-hung billionaire... with wings". Leonard wants to go because he believes it will be a worthwhile experience. To prepare for the trip, the guys spend some time in the freezer at the Cheesecake Factory. When Penny learns about Leonard's trip, she is seemingly upset. She gives Leonard a blanket with sleeves as a gift saying she'll miss him and gives him a hug that Leonard feels lasts a long time. When, on the morning of his departure, Leonard asks Penny about what the long hug and the blanket mean, she tells him it only means she is going to miss him and wishes him a safe trip. However, after she closes the door, Penny whispers to herself "It means I wish you weren't going." Finally, the group departs to the Arctic, and there Wolowitz comically constructs a crossbow to shoot Sheldon but then remarks "There's no time for a crossbow; find me an icicle."
The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 23: The Monopolar Expedition Quotes
Penny: Leonard, I don't know what to tell you; it was just a hug.
Leonard: Glad we cleared that up.
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: I guess I'll see you.
Penny: OK, have a safe trip.
Leonard: Thank you. Bye.
Penny: Bye.
(closes her door and sighs)
Penny: It means I wish you weren't going.
Leonard: I don't think I can go to the North Pole.
Sheldon: OK, Leonard, I know you're concerned about disappointing me, but I want you to take comfort from the knowledge that my expectations of you are very low.
Raj: My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!
Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines.
Howard: I could also be the engineer that builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.
Raj: Is [inviting us to the North Pole] just so we won't touch your stuff while you're away?
Sheldon: I'll admit that was a concern, but the fact is I'll need a support team, and the three of you are my first choice.
Howard: Really?
Sheldon: Well, there are others who might be more qualified, but the thought of interviewing them gave me a stomach ache.
Leonard: Sheldon, what are the words I can say right now to end this conversation and let me go back to sleep?
Sheldon: Odd, President Seibert presented the exact same question.
Leonard: How was it resolved?
Sheldon: It wasn't. His wife set their dogs on me and rendered the question moot.
Sheldon: Everyone at the university knows I eat breakfast at 8:00 and move my bowels at 8:20.
Leonard: Yes, how did we live before Twitter?